Letter from America - Part II
One of the many things that continues to mystify me about American life is the garbage disposal unit. The kitchen sink in our apartment has no plughole: instead, it has a large round drainage hole obscured by a number of rubber flaps that come out from the edges. It's not possible to see what goes on underneath the flaps, but of course water drains down this hole in the same way as a regular British plughole. It even comes with a large rubber stopper the size of a drinks coaster that allows you to fill the sink up. I considered this contraption was simply to save the locals from an irrational fear of their household plumbing, and continued merrily with my usual sink activities.
But then I discovered a switch near the gap where the kettle would go if Americans believed in the concept of a kettle (which they don't, incidentally - we finally found the last kettle for sale in the greater Seattle area after asking some fellow ex-pat Brits for a pointer). On idly flicking the switch on, a loud groan emerged from the kitchen sink followed by a long rumbling gurgle. My two year-old daughter ran for cover behind the sofa, and I nearly joined her. Eventually we deduced that this was the famous "garbage disposal unit", something I'd heard of before but never experienced at first hand. Obviously this has some culinary use, but we're still not exactly clear what this should be. To an American we no doubt sound hopelessly backward and uneducated: without doubt, us crooked-toothed British can't have progressed far from the mediaeval roots still apparent in the funny way we speak. But really, honestly, I didn't have a clue what to do with the unit.
We determined that we'd leave it on whilst we sluiced a few liquids down the sink. Apart from a slightly different tone of gurgle, the garbage disposal thingy seemed unpeturbed. So we got a bit braver, and scraped a few plate clearings in, thinking perhaps this was what you do with it. But they just got stuck on the flaps and stubbornly refused to drop any lower into the unit. Gingerly, my wife poked the detritus down deeper with a teaspoon - this was fine, until the teaspoon slipped out of her hands and fell down the hole. To our horror, the garbage disposal unit immediately turned into a gnashing monster, thrashing the teaspoon around like a tormented creature. Finally, like Jonah's whale, it violently spat the teaspoon out of the sink - obviously it wasn't to the monster's liking.
So, what's it for? We still can't quite get our heads around it. I know from the experiences of the last three weeks that the locals are mad keen on labour-saving devices, but after our experiences, there doesn't seem to be much labour saved: quite the opposite. There's a wastebin (trashcan) under the sink, and it's no bother at all to simply scrape the plate into the bin rather than into the sink - and surely more hygienic? It certainly can't be an environmental thing - impressed though I was to see paper, polystyrene and aluminium can recycling facilities at Microsoft, the Americans have nothing on the Germans for zeal in this area. So I'm hoping that some kindly soul will bestow grace on us humble, impoverished English folk, and give us a full run-down on the uses and abuses of such a device.
There's a distribution list and intranet site at Microsoft for the ex-patriate British here, of which there are quite a number. In typically dry British style, they're named blimey and crikey respectively. I will post any responses to the intranet for the elucidation and education of my fellow aliens.
Postscript: Thanks for all the replies to my quest for a decent piece of cheese - we found a fantastic store opposite Pike's Place Market in downtown Seattle where they actually make the cheese onsite. It tastes fantastic, too - try the Thom if you ever get there. We'll try the other suggestions in due course. Now onward to look for fromage frais - I've yet to speak to a native who even knows what the stuff is, let alone knows where you can find any...
Comments
- Anonymous
October 28, 2004
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October 28, 2004
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October 29, 2004
Just try getting them to pronounce 'Peugeot'
It simply can't be done :)
Try the 'contact us' form at http://www.yoplait.com - they should be able to tell you a stockist of Fromage Frais locally - Anonymous
October 29, 2004
Excellent story, I haven't laughed so much in ages, you have a fallback career of author in the Bill Bryson style :) - Anonymous
October 29, 2004
Using the garbage disposal to dispose of food waste keeps the rubbish bin from smelling too much like rubbish. Very little food waste goes into the trash can in our kitchen. The disposal also comes in handy when peeling vegetables. Finally, some of us pay by the bag for our garbage collection, or are limited to one bag a week. Keeping food waste out of the trash leaves more room for non-food waste. - Anonymous
October 29, 2004
A garbage disposal is intended as a last resort device (though often used as a first means of disposing of unused food). Prior to the invention of the garbage disposal, the person washing dishes by hand would use a drain strainer when rinsing dishes. When finished rinsing, the strainer would be taken to the trash and emptied. Now, those scraps can be placed in the disposal and chopped up by its teeth.
One thing I'll caution you on. Be sure to always run (preferably cold) water when using your disposal. The water acts as a coolant preventing the disposal from overheating and seizing up. You'll have to replace the disposal if that happens. - Anonymous
October 29, 2004
It disposes garbage. Hence "garbage disposal". - Anonymous
October 29, 2004
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October 29, 2004
Which brings the point... Don't put your hand or any body part in the gnashing monster while it is on! lol. I will not regurgitate the newly missing parts. ;) - Anonymous
October 29, 2004
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October 29, 2004
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October 30, 2004
Look what you did, reading the post and the comments made me more paranoid about that garbage disposal unit device. Where does the waste food go, in the sewer? Should it be used as a last resort or as a first option? Is it more environment-friendly or worse? Can I clog my sink by putting in non-drain friendly onion, garlic peels, and apple stems in it? Too many questions, too little time... (or too much time on my hands). - Anonymous
October 30, 2004
Very entertaining, please keep it up :-) - Anonymous
October 31, 2004
I agree with Andy Maggs - stop all this computer nonsense and become an author. I think you would sell bucket loads. You have a great style! - Anonymous
November 01, 2004
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November 08, 2004
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November 08, 2004
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April 04, 2005
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October 27, 2006
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