Simplifying, uncluttering and clearing things out

I started doing this a couple months ago, but I think I may have hit turbo speed, at least for me. I don't mean to sound all new-agey (because let's be real...I'm not), but I've really been examining what and who makes my life better and what and who don't (doesn't? I'm so tired...still dealing with insomnia).

There was a time, a few years ago, where I realized that I got pressured into social obligations because I felt I "should". I'm not talking about whether to show up at a good friend's wedding. I'm talking about committing to a vacation that I don't want to go on, but when else am I going to get to go to <insert place here>? I end up going and not having fun and then I get angry at myself, because I didn't really want to go. I just didn't deal with that when I felt it. Oprah said trust your gut (I say, half-joking); it's just hard to hear your gut sometimes. Because your brain is kind of a bully and tells your gut to shut up.

Anyway, it's very easy to get weighed down by "stuff". And by stuff, I mean objects and e-mails and people that detract from your life instead of add to it. I don't know. Does that sound harsh? It's been energizing to get rid of objects (though I still have more to go), my e-mail is getting under control, the people part is hard but it's a matter of being good to yourself. I had been giving away stuff mostly because I was running out of room (and still, you should see the garage...the car barely fits...I admit that I actually hate gardening). I hadn't thought about how complication was really a drag. More stuff, lots of distraction, negativity. Like attracts like and you end up in a sucky place. So I am not sure where this realization for me came from; I think that mostly right now, I find pleasure in what is very simple. Like you would think sleep would be simple and I would find pleasure in it if I was able to sleep through the night, but that is another story (or maybe a symptom of this story). It's like cleaning out your refrigerator and then deciding not to go grocery shopping to fill it back up because you like that cool, clean place you just created. I'm creating that cool, clean place in my life. I just decided.

OK, so one of the biggest effects of this change for me is cleaning out my scheduled recordings in my DVR. I know that sounds ridiculous. But I was thinking about what I was spending my time watching and really, was "the Hills" making my life better of just making me a little dumber a half hour at a time (no judgment to anyone who watches...I'm prioritizing)? So no more Real World (isn't it the same shizz, different city?), Dancing with the Stars (possibly the reason why fast forward was invented), The Hills. Survivor, The Amazing Race, Top Chef; still in.

Another effect: I've stopped buying books. I literally have about 100 books that I bought and have not read yet. Was the buying behavior compulsive? I don't know. I like to read (though have had little time for it lately) and I like to be surrounded by books. I even like the way they smell. But I don't need any *more* books.

I'm even thinking of packing light for Australia (OK, for me, that means one big suitcase instead of 2). I'm not sure I can do it, but I am going to give it a shot.

As for the people part, I've learned a lot from and about my friends lately. My friends are people I feel my best around. Everyone else are acquaintances. It's that gut thing again; and taking the time to figure out why you feel bad around some people and great around others. And not owing anyone a place in your life (I told you...new agey....so sorry...no crystals or chants, I promise).

Did you ever meet or see someone who lived a simple life, with few possessions and they seemed happier than the average person? I want to be that happy person. I'm very far from having few possessions, but I think it's a matter of degrees. I guess that I just connected the dots. I was doing these things and realized that there was a theme here and it's making my life better.

Now the question is what to do with that bread maker in the closet that I haven't used in about 8 years. I mean, seriously.

Comments

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  Breadmakers... either make bread in it (and question why you went so long without making bread), or throw it out/give it away.  It's definitely not a necessity.  I know, I have my own breadmaker that I go through about 8-month cycles with. I need to make bread again... And I'm glad to hear someone shares my view on friends.  I have maybe 5 friends, but I'd do anything for them.

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  Yeah, I know. I need to get rid of the bread-maker. It hurts. :) The juicer that I used once was donated last year. I have kitchen stuff stored under the bed in the guest bedroom, on the closet and in the attic. I have a small kitchen, but still, I really do need to evaluate whether I need this stuff. And I think it's OK to have somehting, use it for a while and then give it away when you don't love it any more. As for friends, quality over quantity.

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  Check out Unclutter.com for some good tips and reminders.

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  The comment has been removed

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  tod - I do subscribe to that (it's got another "er" on the end). I'm trying to clear out some of my feeds as well. So maybe this is one of the blogs that will make the cut ;) NativeWizdom - I do donate a lot. But I also have friends that are a young family and so I always give them first shot at my stuff (we laugh about how much of their house is decorated by Heather). They call it shopping in my garage. But yeah, regular trips to the Goodwill are a requirement for me.

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  I find un-cluttering makes me feel better. I just went through my closet and cleaned out about 11 pairs of dress pants that my Mom had got for me at various times. These were all name brand pants that were in decent shape, I just didn't like the style or the way they fit me. I also like to do electronic clean-up. I go through my computer and clean up the stuff I'm not using. Duplicate photos. Old docs I'm never going to need. Thinning out the music library. It's almost therapeutic.

• Anonymous
  April 07, 2008
  Yes, the computer purge! I need to do that! Especially my Outlook folders. It's amazing what you colect working for the same company for 9 years. It just keeps getting transferred from laptop to laptop! That's my next big project! Re: the clothes from relatives, it's hard but you have to tell them to stop. I keep getting stuff that I would never wear. And all it does is make you feel guilty! PS: i hope none of those pants had pleats....no pleated pants! :)

• Anonymous
  April 08, 2008
  That bread maker - www.freecycle.org.

• Anonymous
  April 08, 2008
  oh yeah, good idea.

• Anonymous
  April 08, 2008
  Is there a reason you're not sending all the stuff you don't want down to my house? Heather?! I'll pay for shipping!

• Anonymous
  April 08, 2008
  The comment has been removed