Conservation and the irony of going green

[ed. A few minutes after this article was published, we got this number one search hit: http://www.bing.com/search?q=green+irony]

Alex, this buds for you. So the three of us at Inoun were thinking about irony the other day. And it occurs to us that the reason search, searching and search SEO are so hard for some people is because they don't understand irony.  

Really? What does any of this have anything to do with Conservation and the irony of going green Inoun?

I am glad you asked. Let me put it this way; if I believe in conservation does that make me a conservative? Ha!

How about if I die and am pushing up daisies in a cemetery somewhere; does that mean that I am going green? Ha!

Come on Inoun, are you cereal Inoun? Don't you know that going green means that you are a conservationist, not conservative?

That's my point. Irony. If we did everything all proper like we wouldn't have these problems. If people actually worked together we wouldn't have these problems either. But for now, I guess you could say that I am a conservative green energy conservationist. How am I ever going to explain this to the kids. I love green. And I love conservation. Okay, it's out there now. I have officially come out of the closet.

Your missing my point. Yes, the point on my head. The great green irony of search is that someone messed up all of those oh so consise rules about English. And made it worse. You know the rules I am talking about. Little ones we learned in English. Things like I before E entertainment except after C Programing or as in weigh or gei. As in geisha. Yeah that's right. It's the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. Who comes up with this stuff? And learning search and learning to search SEO is all making it worse. Much worse. But the bright spot is that it is overflowing with irony. If you know what I mean.

We don't have these problems in German. I am cereal. Germans don't allow it. Everything is so tightly controlled in their language and culture.

Oh, ah, no, that's not what I mean. Oh forget it....

See what I mean? You can't even carry on a decent conversation around here, because someone might "feel bad". Who's to blame? Hm? Who is it that messed all of this up? Whose who is to blame for all of this...

Marketing.

You see, here in the states and our insane state of mind, we have no rules around SEO, English, Google or Marketing. Everywhere else, like in Libya, well.... they get shot. That's at least what CNN says. But no, not here. We put them on a pedestal, like television, CNN, MTV, E television and any other show after midnight and just let them run amok and ruin the english language. And they get away with messing up the language every day. Think about it. Yes, I knew you could. And you know I am right. As in correct. Not as in conservative, which is of course not to be confused with Conservation, saving the plant, going green or saving wells, Orson Welles, or whale's as in MTV or E television as the case may be.

See? So that's my point, everything has to have a disclaimer attached to it, just in case. "Teacher he hurt my feelers, my stones and sticks and I want to stone him..." Can you imagine? It's like if I said Alex was a budding English student. And just so I don't get sued, this means I am not allowed to say things like, this bud's for you. Are you cereal? Ahhh!

And search and SEO search and all of the lawyers freak out about it. And it creates no end of problems. Things like the fat boy fat burning furnace scam, scamming scam fat burning furnace scam scam. There, I said it. They have taken it to an all new insane level, and anyone that reads them or buys there stuff is probably already insane. So I guess I shouldn't worry about it. Really, how many times can you read the phrase "scam fat burning furnace scam" and not go crazy or insane?

So where am I headed with all of this. Well, I figured out that all of the really cool search problems are found in irony. As well as marketing of course, if you really must know. And if in an article you mix the two, it really makes for a lot of fun.

So here goes. We are going to brave the grate, great ungrateful unknown. But please, please, please don't ever ever ever be offended offended by what I write right or to the left. I may unintentionally write something that makes an association in your head that makes it implode. And we wouldn't want that. That would just color everything red with dead, and today we are trying to be green as in Kermit or watermelons. Green on the outside and red on inside. Hm. Not really. But you know what I mean (mean as in average?)

A few years ago, well, a really long time ago in a galaxy far far away, a hotel chain came up with an interesting slogan. Something about leaving the light on for you. Those marketing guys (or gals).

Can you believe it? What green peace loving conservative, energy sapping, sap would ever come up with a diputs idea like that?

You guessed it, English majors. No really, it's the same people who brought you, scam filled scams fat burning furnace scam and this buds for you...

Marketing.

So, it got me thinking, what would happen if we applied the same logic to everything green? Conservation. Let's just go overboard on everything green, the green giant and let's just be extremely liberal in our going soylent green and show conservative thinking in everything. I mean it, peanut. Let's conserve everything and be conservative. I mean conservationistic. Where would this take us? For example, like in the amount of effort it takes to drive to work, get up in the morning, or even those silly little arguments that sometimes occur around the house. Let's find the irony and let's see how that messes with SEO?

Simple things like leaving the toilet seat up or putting it down.

"Oh honey, I am sorry, I was just trying to be green and not waste all that caloric energy."

You see what I mean? All of this stuff really messes up search. But let's have fun with it. How's the search engine supposed to figure that one out? And the SEO marketing guys (or gals as the case may be) just keep getting away with it. They just keep sending search all this garbage and we are supposed to take it. But we are not gonna take it anymore. We're not gonna take it, no, we're not gonna take it..... BID.

What's the solution Inoun? I can just hear it now, "So Inoun, I guess we better start controlling the way people write and speak." Are you kidding me? We tried that already. That was another failed experiment in I'm a PC fruit eating, tree hugging Apple Ipod eating nut. It won't work. The English majors and green marketing marketers will just change the rules again. And way in with the weigh we way and how much we way in I before E parc.

So I am so surrey Shirley. I don't have any answers for you. I just don't know what to do yet. Except make fun of them. All of the SEO crazed lunatics out there. But there is a solution. I know there is. But for now, I Inoun the great green giant green bean counting conservative will keep looking. But I just don't know how to solve it yet.

But when I do, I will contempt to write them right hear so you can here them.

But for now, I better stop righting.

Thanks for staying with us...

I'm Inoun....

We'll leave the seat up for you.

Comments

• Anonymous
  March 04, 2011
  That's actually kind of clever.  I think the word choices are so obscure sometimes that you make some of the important principles pretty clear.  Everyone else may just think you're insane though.

• Anonymous
  April 18, 2011
  insane or not, hes the Inoun!! very clever. Honestly! another lift up Inoun! thanks, but i prefer to not fall in!! ;)