Phlegmatic, phlegm, humorous labotomies, sanguine phlebotomies, and choleric, humouristic psychology
I often, with a high probability and chance of unusual philanthropy, am generally quite a bit phlegmatic with a sprinkle of choleric and sanguine thrown in for good measure. Yes, there is a point to all of this. The other day, while walking through a local hospital, I noticed a sign. It said "Phlebotomy". Which really, well kind of, made me laugh, because it was also right across the hall from another sign that said, "psych ward". Which is, of course where they used to perform lobotomies. So there you have it, phlebotomy lobotomies.
But what does that even mean Inoun?
Some words just sound funny together. And I love it. That's all. And when I see them together, well, they make me giggle. There is just a certain kind of humourism in finding words that shouldn't go together, but when you do put them together, they just sound slippy sloppy slippery silly. And they are even funnier if they make even a titch bit of sense. So here you go, I will try, as in .... "the hospital receptionist said to a patron, 'sure, just go down the hall past the phlebotomy and lobotomies departments, turn left, and they can test your phlegm there', or sputum as the case may be."
See?
But you say, what? I don't have any humourism? Well that might be true. It's kind of like the one doctor that says to his doctor friend, "a patient came in the other day with a broken arm...." And before he can finish the sentence his friend says to him, "now that's humerus." Or a fat boy. I don't care which way you look at it. Humour, I may or may not have, yes it is sometimes true, but the study of humourism, well, I am a fan, not so much. It was a crazy theory that was discredited ions (or eons) ago. Bing it, or look it up on Bing sometime.
Sanguine. Yes, okay, I have been known to be a little of that as well. But mostly just phlegmatic. A bit choleric. But not so much. I said choleric, not cholera or colic. There is a difference you know. Kind of like the word mastication or "inconceivable! I do not think that means what you think it means..."
But I digress (BID).
An Inoun story! A guy I used to work with a number of years ago, used to smoke stacks. Literally. Well stacks of cigarettes. We were working in a very small trailer out in the middle of the desert, and because of the electronics, et. al. he was not allowed to smoke inside. But every now and then, he would get distracted and have to put his cigarettes somewhere, and this large telephone/power pole standing there with him, was oh so convenient and had large cracks that loved a good smoke too. In a nutshell, more often than not, we would walk past this pole and there "he" was, taking in a good long large swig of smoke. And I felt sorry for it. The pole that is. The guy too. Looking back at it now, somewhere in the middle of the desert, I can just see it, there is a long lone addicted telephone power pole dying of cancer. BID.
So anyway, this character would come into the trailer, and because of the change in air, temperature and/or a variety of other characteristics inherent in a small trailer filled with large sweat sweaty middle aged men, and he would start hacking up a lung. And this would go on for many a minute or two or three or four, maybe more, we don't know for sure. And so, after one of these little largess loud regular irregular episodes, one of us, because we are engineers, would invariably make an incongruent comment like, "maybe you should try another brand?" To which and to fort-with, he would proclaim,
"It's just a little phlegm."
Which I always found a little humorous. Not that the man was dying or anything. And it worried me. How casual we can be about such serious things as death. Especially when we can do something about them. Or even more so, if someone else can do something about a problem that they see right there before them, and help someone obviously in so much need. But we do it all the time. In this instance, it is not unlike the deer in the lone woods next to a lone man in the woods. "Hey Henry, look over there! That wild best beast of a cat! It is going to get poor George. Well, says Henry, I am just glad it is not me." And so it is these days. People and businesses getting the shaft, or telephone pole as the case may be, and nobody's doodoing anything about it. It is kind of like when you call 800 I don't care about you mister customer and they say something like, "Did you fill out all of the forms? Well yes. Oh. I'll get back to you on that." It is really no different.
So you want my advice?
Sure Inoun. Why not?
The next time a project manager comes to you and asks you how the project is going, or if you got that deliverable out to the customer right there and right now even if it doesn't work any way patch, or asks if that customer calmed down after that last fit of a fiasco. Well, just tell him, "Oh that,.... don't worry about it,"
"It's just a little phlegm."
It 'll be our little secret.
Keywords:
Phlegmatic, phlegm, humourous labotomies, sanguine phlebotomies, and sanguine, choleric, humouristic psychology and of course Phlegm.