“Networking": The Shy Person’s Perspective

Being a somewhat shy person, I had always been somewhat hesitant to pursue people I found interesting at career networking events. Perhaps it was because I had the [wrong] conception of networking as a superficial and “what-can-you-do-for-me” exchange of pleasantries (which I probably picked up from overly enthusiastic Commerce students). What I have learned from my experiences over the last year, working with a variety of people and companies, has completely changed my conception of networking .

[Sneak-peek] What’s in this post?

1. People network all the time, and not always in obvious ways – my first real networking experience

2. Networking is personal and incremental – how mentoring is the best kind of networking

3. People you network with should be thought of as models

1. People Network all the time, and not always in obvious ways. Last summer I volunteered with a program that helped welcome new students to UBC. Besides the obvious part of organizing the day and creating a couple of presentations, the program also required each of their squad leaders to have a professor join one of their presentations. We were told to ask a professor who we had direct contact with and would be comfortable presenting with. I decided to ask one of the professors who we spent most of our second year with. I was very nervous asking him to take time out of his summer to participate, but had the program I was volunteering for behind me and the professor didn’t hesitate to agree to help in my presentation.

When I wanted to put my name out there for the Microsoft internship, I had to get a professors recommendation. Since I had already reached out to this professor to help with my volunteering, I felt much more at ease asking for the reference and got around any feeling that I may have been being artificial or superficial. Also, since I had worked with him in class, with projects and now while volunteering as well, this professor had a better idea of how I worked and who I was. He was more than happy to give me the recommendation, and I believe that his word really made a difference in how Microsoft considered my application.

How is this an example of successful and positive networking? I established a professional connection with an important and influential person in my field, who enabled me to advance myself. Not only did he help me in school by spending extra time with our group to improve our projects but he also assisted me during our presentation with the new students.This person knew me by name and (I believe) was genuinely happy to give me his ‘stamp of approval’. It was not a short-term relationship allowing me to get what I wanted. In fact, I never even thought of this teacher as someone I was ‘networking’ with .

2. I have learned from my recent experiences that networking is personal and incremental. For me, networking has often developed from mentoring situations. In fact, one of my new friends said she has many mentors, some who know she looks up to them and turn to in a variety of situations, and some who don’t know she views them as a mentors as she tends to watch from afar. This acknowledgement of mentoring being beneficial is something that I have learnt throughout my time at Microsoft, in face my mentors are people I don’t hesitate to call my friends. Microsoft has official setup some mentors for me throughout this intern program, one in my team and another one through a group I signed up for. I think the best part about it is that my mentors are people whom I don’t hesitate to call my friends.Besides those ‘official’ mentors, I have learnt so much from a variety of people I have come in contact with, and have been actively finding new mentors for myself.

How is this an example of successful and positive networking? Networking relationships should be reciprocal and based upon mutual respect and aid. These mentors who offer me their time and knowledge are helping me through my own personal career path. They remember what it was like when they were first setting out after college, and the people who helped them out along the way. When you present yourself as an eager and enthusiastic person, they are willing to help you out because it reminds them of themselves. Each one of them insists that the mentor-mentee relationship greatly benefits the mentor as well, and I truly hope that there are getting even a fraction of the benefits that I am. I feel more comfortable at work, I know I always have someone to turn to and I am more confident about my presence and position.  When I recognized that these people who I was coming in contact with would also know more people like themselves, I realized they could introduce me to other people they know and influence how those people perceived me as well. While that was not my intention when I originally met these mentors, it naturally developed into a type of networking.

3. I think that people you network with should be thought of as models for your own career and academic paths, not as “career enablers”. They have already faced many of the questions that face students. Unlike you and I, they have already faced long distance careers moves, specialization decisions, etc, and can offer insight into how they approached the problem and why. While the idea of networking seems daunting and at times, rather fake, it’s once you shift away from furthering your career to making yourself a better person that you start reaping the benefits. As my mentor just said, “In the end, it’s all about the network – but concentrate on helping others out first and then you’ll get help when you need it. “

Have an example of successful and positive networking? Let us hear it in the comments!

Thanks to Nick Harper for helping me write this post :)