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I am a survivor

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I am a survivor. A few days ago I got the thing you never want to hear from a Doctor, “You have Melanoma Skin Cancer”.

I am not sure how you are “suppose” to react to something like that. What are the expected reactions and emotions? Why do people have to react a specific way? For me it was a binary reaction like on or off. I think in the very first few hours I decided to be a “cancer survivor”. I really didn’t have any feeling of why me, or how or why or worry about my future. My reaction was to deal with it, medically. And move on.

It was weird It was almost like having an out of body experience watching my reaction to the news. Sometimes I get “Mad” at the body I am dealt in life. See I have this idea, I want to take my heart, soul, and being sometimes and let me move it to a new container called a body. Why does this body have to be overweight? Why does this body have to react to Shellfish? So now we just add one to that list - Skin cancer. I can deal with that. Then step back a minute. Yes there are things about this body I can’t control. But I also can make it do things when I put my mind to it and focus. Take Triathlons for example. I have completed a Triathlon each of the last 3 years. Very few people can say that. Going for a 25 mile bike ride every morning I can isn’t a big deal. Very few people can do that too. So I am going to focus on what “I” can change with the body I am given, and not sweat what I can’t change.

So the things I love to do, Sail, swim, being outside, just about anything on the water, bike ride and triathlons. All involve being in the sun. So now it’s do those things with sun screen on and be extremely careful.

People around me have been extremely supportive. My family has been very supportive. Two people at work totally changed their work schedules to help me. One co-worker put me in touch with www.patientpower.info cool info. I listened to an hour webcast on what is Melanoma and how it is treated.

It’s interesting how we as humans react to things. I had a friend and co-worker suddenly pass away back in April. My way of dealing with it was making a video of all the pictures of the fun times we spent with him and put it to the music he loved. Others were upset, crying or didn’t know how to react. That friend’s favorite saying was “We live Great lives”, and we really do. I then look at myself and I guess my way of dealing with today is to write this. Life will go on. When my grandmother passed away, I stayed up all night writing down the stories she use to tell us. Writing my thoughts down makes it better. Let me remember to write a list of my to do list. When things get tough I always remember back to the old saying “that which doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger”. Well I am stronger now. I am a survivor. Game on.

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