She Asked me - Do I Look Fat ?

My office is across the driveway from my home, and three days a week, when my beautiful wife Jill loads the kids in our mini-van to take them to pre-school - I run down from my office to kiss the girls goodbye.

This morning my wife asked me “Do I Look Fat” ?

Now, lets forget the fact that, as I define beauty, she is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever met.

And lets ignore the fact that she’s a little tiny thing.

Not only is the question itself foolish, just the ASKING of the question is foolish.

I mean really!

If I wanted to get divorced – I’d just hire another lawyer!

In fact she isn’t fat – she’s just had two children in the past 4 years and taking care of them (and me) doesn’t leave her the time for exercise that she has had for the first 35 years of her life. (She’s always been a health and fitness nut.)

But I got to thinking about the question.

1.) If she thinks she looks fat, when I tell her she’s not - she won’t really believe me , will she ?

2.) If I thought she actually DID look fat, does she really think I would SAY SO?

3.) If she really think she looks fat, ad I tell her she doesn’t look fat, then won’t she now think that I routinely lie to her – and if I’m lying about that am I lying about other things?

So…… Honesty aside, there is no right answer. The truth doesn’t even matter, if your wife asks this question, you’re screwed !

Marriage is great, but it never stops being complicated.

Comments

• Anonymous
  October 06, 2006
  Perhaps should you read the John Gray book : "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" ;-)

• Anonymous
  October 06, 2006
  It's in The Husband Manual, Joe: just say "no". Nothing good can come from that question. The absolute BEST result you can win is that she disregards your answer but doesn't ask again (at least, until next time). Worst case - ugh - I shudder to even think about it.

• Anonymous
  October 06, 2006
  There is no correct answer. Take the dog outside immediately!

• Anonymous
  October 06, 2006
  The comment has been removed

• Anonymous
  October 06, 2006
  In a way, you are fortunate that the first time she asked the question, the answer was clearly "No".I'm pretty sure that there is only one right answer and that honesty is only an issue if the answer might have been "yes".I think its a good idea to address the issue of "the right answer" and "honest" with her while they are the same thing :D

• Anonymous
  October 06, 2006
  Joe, I can empathize with you on that. There is absolutely NO right answer to THAT question. So, what did you say?

• Anonymous
  October 10, 2006
  The comment has been removed

• Anonymous
  January 24, 2007
  Ha, ha. That's pretty funny, Joe. Don't forget to mention the Software Security Summit somewhere in your blog in the near future. April 16-17 (you are speaking there - just a reminder ;-). www.s-3con.com. See you there!

• Anonymous
  June 07, 2008
  My office is across the driveway from my home, and three days a week, when my beautiful wife Jill loads the kids in our mini-van to take them to pre-school - I run down from my office to kiss the girls goodbye. This morning my wife asked me “Do I Loo