Freigeben über

The correct answer is "no"

  • Artikel

No technology today. I have not done a post on relationship advice in ages!

Compare and contrast these two conversations:

******

Version One:

Alice: Thanks for having lunch with me. I suppose you know what I want to talk about.

Eric: Yeah, I do. I think you shouldn't jump to conclusions solely on the basis of all the rumours that are going around. There are any number of perfectly innocent reasons why Bob and Eve could have been seen together at Chez Franch together last month.

Alice: What?!

Eric: Huh?

Alice: First she intercepts my email, then she steals my boyfriend?!? Passive attacker my eye!

This conversation, already off to a bad start, is not going to get any better.

******

Version Two:

Alice: Thanks for having lunch with me. I suppose you know what I want to talk about.

Eric: No, I do not.

Alice: I was hurt that you didn't invite me to the book signing.

Eric: I did invite you to the book signing. Check your spam filter.

Alice: [boot laptop, search email...] Ah. Yes you did invite me. And I see your new book is called "Make Money Fast With Nigerian Viagra"; did anyone actually get the invitation?

Eric: Hmm, that might explain the low turnout.

******

Important human relationship safety tip: the correct answer to "do you know what I am thinking? " is "no". Remember, there are at least two thick slabs of bone between your brain and everyone else's brain. Those thick slabs of bone impede telepathy.

Comments

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    Reminds me of the problem of being pulled over by a cop.  Invariably, they start the conversation with "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Say "Yes" and you sound cocky and as if you rather brazenly fluated the law. Say "No" and you sound like you are trying to play stupid an dpull one over on the cop. I've asked two different friends who are police officers what's the "correct" answer to that question and they've given opposite answers.

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    Eric, what about pulling a "Pinky & the Brain" on her? For example... Alice: I suppose you know what I want to talk about. Eric: I think so, but if they called them "sad meals", kids wouldn't buy them. Whenever a conversation starts with "I suppose you know what I want to talk about", it's already on a serious note. Attempting to add levity will help you get a better gauge on how serious it actually is - if they don't lighten up with your attempt at humor, then you know it's bad.

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    The comment has been removed

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    In defense of the phrase, it can be a useful ice breaker to transition to a potentially awkward conversation.

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    No technological problem I have ever encountered has come close to matching the challenge of successfully navigating human relationships.

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    Corollary: it is unwise to start a conversation with "Do you know what I am thinking?", or variants thereof, for the same fundamental reason.

  • Anonymous
    July 02, 2009
    I would love to know what inspired that post ;-) It was inspired by a recent work-related conversation that began "You're pretty perceptive, so you've probably already figured out what I'm going to announce to the team later today." The flattery was unwarranted; I had not. But even if I had, it is much better to say "no, I haven't" -- guessing wrong is potentially embarrassing. This particular conversation was not about anything juicy, just the routine movement of a highly competent and sought-after colleague from one part of our division to another. I decided to make the fictionalized illustrative dialogue far more salacious. -- Eric

  • Anonymous
    July 03, 2009
    The comment has been removed

  • Anonymous
    July 03, 2009
    The comment has been removed

  • Anonymous
    July 08, 2009
    James, I had mild success by responding "something stupid" to an officer. Not the best response to Alice, though.

  • Anonymous
    August 02, 2009
    There is no "always better to say X" where women are concerned. Beware Version Three! It goes a little something like this: Alice: Thanks for having lunch with me. I suppose you know what I want to talk about. You: No, I've no idea. Alive: So you forgot that tomorrow is our anniversary? Have fun in the dog house!

  • Anonymous
    August 04, 2009
    The comment has been removed

  • Anonymous
    August 07, 2009
    Now if you could only teach people to not assume that everybody shares their exact interests and dreams.